Selphie's Revenge.
by The Dream Team
Summary: Selphie comes to our world....only one problem. She's in Alan Smithee's body. Only Mariye can save the day!


"You make me sick, I want you and I'm hating it... na na na na na na na na" Mariye spun around as she walked out of her house and plopped down on the bottom stair. "You got me goin again baby you got me goin again..."  
  
Just as she started to get up, she heard some whild screaming coming from down the street. As she finished pulling on her rollerblades, she stood up and skated out from the side of her house.  
  
"Is everything alright?" She called as she moved toward the sidewalk. She saw a spiky haired man chasing an old woman.  
  
"JINGLE BELLS!" the spiky haired man kept yelling! "YOU SUCK!"  
  
"What in god's name are you doing? I watch the news, young man! Are you on that 'Special K' stuff the young folks talk about?"  
  
"But...but...it makes me pretty...doesn't it?" The young man batted his eyelashes at the girl...."Ooh...that's my song...'You make me sick...'"   
  
"Alan? Um... okay... this is kinda freaky..." Mariye motions to the little old lady. "Avoid sudden movements, and when I say so, run like hell!"  
  
"But what about you dearie?"  
  
"Eh, I go to a public high school. This is nothing I can't handle."   
  
"Oh, I see you are trying to stop me..." Alan replied. "Do you want the messenger? Well, he's gone! Long live the glorious new reign of SELPHIE!"  
  
"Um, Alan, this isn't you here...Come on...I've got it! Word association! Love..."  
  
"Hell..."  
  
"Work...."  
  
"Hard..."  
  
"hmmm....Carson Daly..."  
  
"DADDY! He's so cute...I bet all the boys love him!"  
  
"Okay... Hi Selphie, how are you." Mariye said, smiling.  
  
"Aw, how did you know it was me? Was it my prettiness that gave it away?"  
  
"That and I'm actually smart.... So Selphie, what are you doing here in Alan?"  
  
"Oh, well I was in the neighborhood and I decided to pop in!"  
  
"Sure. Selphie, maybe you shouldn't have chosen to inhabit a guy..."  
  
"Don't be silly! All the boys think I'm pretty! Watch, it's the captain of the football team! YOO-HOO! Come on over here and get yourself a little bit of Selphie..."   
  
Mariye watched in horror as 'Selphie' ran over to her friend Ryan and started clinging to his arm.  
  
"Um.... Mariye? What IS this THING?" He asked in disgust.  
  
"Oh, that's my psychotic cousin. He escaped his basement prison."  
  
"Oh, you're so CUTE! Do you think I'm pretty? If you don't I'll cast The End on you..."  
  
"Mariye..." Ryan started trying to pull 'Selphie' off of him.  
  
"Don't worry, I have some fishheads downstairs. Selphie look! There's Irvine over there!"   
  
"but...that's not Irvine...WAAAHHHHH...you're trying to get rid of me....I only came around to do some fun things!" 'Selphie' cried.  
  
"Oh. Yeah. Sure. What can you bring to the party?" Mariye asked.  
  
"Well, I'm really pretty...all the boys like me because I'm so pretty..."  
  
" And that helps us...how?"  
  
"I can help you get all the boys I want! Let's go!"  
  
"Um Selphie? I already KNOW how to get a man. I mean, I have two guys at my school alone where I could just snap my fingers and poof, they are there. What else is there that you have?"  
  
"Good organizational skills?"  
  
"Well... I guess I have to give you that..."  
  
"WOO HOO! Mariye admits I have skills!"  
  
"But that's just really one skill in one area..."  
  
"Yes, but if you admit that I have skill in one area, then it would be obvious I have skills in another area! WOO HOO! I'm actually getting brains to go with being pretty...Must have been those smart drinks..."  
  
"Um, I didn't say that...You're just good at organizing people..."  
  
"Yes, but I have other talents....I'm not just a pretty face..."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Well, um, uh....I'm pretty! I'm much prettier than you, in my own body or not!"  
  
"No you're not!"   
  
"Of course I am. You know what?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'm tired of talking to your Mariye. Buh bye!"  
  
Alan slumped to the ground, not moving. Mariye rolled over and nudged him with her rollerblade.  
  
"Hmm. well, when he wakes up he owes me big time."  
  
Mariye started to go away when a hand grabbed her foot and pulled her down.   
  
"Tee hee...Did you REALLY think you could let go of me that easily?" 'Alan' replied.  
  
"You...you're...some kind of...not human...thing!" Mariye screamed.  
  
"I am not human...I...am...PRETTY!" Selphie screamed.  
  
"This is it, I've got to go stop this once and for all. Let's see...if I know my channels, then Alan's got to be stuck somewhere in Selphie's actual body...But I'll need a static human being to allow me to stop this in this world...Let's see...who do I know who values being pretty over everything else....who no one would notice a loss in mind if anything went wrong...and who would not know I'm doing this..." Mariye thought.  
  
(two days later)...  
  
"Now, I've strapped both of you to this mythical machine. With hope, we'll send 'Alan' back into Alan's brain, 'Selphie' into your brain, and you into Selphie's brain! Woo hoo!" Mariye shouted.  
  
"So, this is just like that knee surgery that I had, right? See, I was a dancer...and I got a knee injury....and they gave me surgery...and I woke up two cup sizes larger and the boys all thought I was pretty!" Britney Spears replied.  
  
"Oh yeah, its the EXACT same thing. Trust me."  
  
"Yay! Let's do it!"  
  
Mariye walked over to a huge lever and threw the switch. A huge bolt of electricity went through the whole machine, and thunder rolled ominously in the distance. 'Selphie' and Britney screamed, and then the power went out.   
  
"What...happened?" Alan slowly opened his eyes.  
  
"Hold up...how many fingers am I holding up?" Mariye asked.  
  
"Two..."   
  
"Word association...Carson Daly?"   
  
"Anti-Christ..."   
  
"YES! IT WORKED!" Mariye threw her hands into the air.   
  
"Did anything...happen? I mean, one minute I'm walking along the road, the next minute...I'm in Final Fantasy 8..."  
  
"Don't worry about it, Alan. Let's go." The two started walking away. "Um, Mariye..."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Just out of curiosity, do you think I'm pretty?" Mariye slugged Alan on the arm.   
  
"This isn't the time for that stuff..."  
  
"No really."  
  
"I SAID..."  
  
"I know but..."  
  
"RAGE!" Mariye kicked Alan in the shin and brought him to his knees.  
  
"Argh! No! Not Fujin!"  
  
"RAGE!"  
  
'Fujin' chased Alan out of the room.  
  



End file.
